yeah im okay…

28 06 2010

the three most hated words in the english language.
at least to me. i hate that. i myself am guilty of uttering them. the funny thing is that if you have to answer the question that prompts such a response chances are, the person uttering those three dirty words, you my dear are very much not okay.

at least when i utter these words i am not okay. in fact im trying to hide that im not okay and then its usually followed by a fake smile. or a nervous laugh. or sometimes a fast change of subject.

today i am proud to say, no im not okay. in fact im the farthest from okay ive been in a while. but i look okay. im acting okay and by god, i even have a bit of a sense of humor to boot.

i know that when i get to this point i have 3 options to feed into.
1) the fuck it all attitude. – this is where my reply to everything is “fuck it all” and i no longer want to or care to try to give a flying fuck about anything…. here is an example:

Oh no! The sky is falling! We are all going to die!
my reply: meh, fuck it dude. nothing we can do about it anyhow. i want a slurpee.

2) the omg life sucks and i wallow in my own pit of despair over the fact that i cant do or say a damn thing right.- this is where my reply to everything sounds like it belongs in a morrissey song and that nothing will ever be right in the world. Here is an example:

Oh no! The sky is falling! We are all going to die!
my reply: oh god, life is so short, but what difference does it make if the sky falls or not to me everything is already black. no body cares if i die or not, nothing i do is worth anything. i would kill myself but that will just get messed up since i cant do anything right. not even t his awesome slurpee can lighten my mood.

and last but not least:
3) the oh dude that sucks attitude. – simply put i reply to my current situation with a … dude that blows. and go on with my life. here is an example:

Oh no! The sky is falling! We are all going to die!
my reply: dude that sucks, oh well aww my slurpees almost gone.(that last statement usually cast me back in to the pits of number 2)

right now, even though i am confident in saying that no im not okay, im more of a number 3. except for the slurpee being almost done… as you can see its quite full.

so what does this teach us?
a) i cant write a coherent blog when at work anywhere.
and
b) slurpees make everything better. except for when they are gone. then its a sad cold day in hell.

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